“Please Simon, PLEASE im down on my knee’s…” I Can’t Sing – London Palladium Theatre, London 22.3.14

1477384_10151924556285448_2024943048_nLast week I saw Jason Donavan, who played the role of Joseph in my first ever musical I saw, tonight continuing down memory lane I would be returning to the theatre of which I saw Jason perform Joseph and His Technicolour Dreamcoat, and I stood for 2 hours in awe of what was witnessing The London Palladium. Tonight I would be seeing a brand new musical, I Can’t Sing! The X Factor Musical written by Harry Hill.

I had heard about this musical being created from the twitter of Simon Lipkin having briefly mentioned a X Factor Musical workshop that he had just performed in, and that it was Simon Cowell approved a few months back, but this was during the time that Simon Lipkin was still performing in Rock of Ages, and at this time the announcement of its closing had yet to happen. But my initial thought of that tweet was, someone has actually made an X Factor Musical? It was then a few months later while out in London,on the underground I saw the first poster for it, opening in March 2014.

This poster made aware of who was the creator, and writer the famous British comedian Harry Hill, performer and writer of one of my family’s favourite TV Show Harry Hill’s TV Burp, the cast however was yet to be announced, but I checked out the website, and signed up for the newsletter for any new announcement, but because of Harry Hill I knew this is a show I had to see! Throughout the months the announcement of casting began, and when Simon Lipkin confirmed that he would be returning as the puppeteer and character of Barlow the dog in I Can’t Sing! I had to see this show!! That and also Nigel Harmen being confirmed as the lead man Simon Cowell, having missed out on him playing Lord Farquad in Shrek, I was excited to see him perform too!

Once the tickets came out I searched for a friend to come with, and Jess was that lucky friend, and she got part of her ticket paid by me for her birthday.  The tickets themselves cost £55, for the 22nd March, where we were seated which was Row C seats 15, and 16 in the stalls, and they were the top price tickets as it was during the previews of the show, I ensured that this was a few weeks into the previews, with opening night being set for the 28th February, as I know with New shows its never good to get opening night or within the first week of previews because if something isn’t ready, or something goes wrong before opening night, they can postpone the show, Lucky I was right this time, as they delayed opening for 1 week due to technical problems, my friends who had bought tickets then had to change their tickets to later in April. Lucky no problems happened the night we went to see it!

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But going back to the seats, our view could not have been better, and the London Palladium is a one of the biggest theatres in the West End! Now the last time I was in this theatre I was 4, and I believe we were seated in the circle, as much as I remember the show, I did have to stand up to see, but the stalls I think anywhere you would have sat you wouldn’t have complained about the view. (Above is a panorama of the theatre to the left is one I took when I was seated).1518032_10151924565840448_1196152300_n

The Story of I Can’t Sing was focused on the main girl Chenice, a girl who lives under the Motorway in a caravan with her dog Barlow, and grandfather who is having to power up his Iron Lung with the only working plug in the van.  She wishes for a better life for them all, and discovers from the student plumber Max, that the X Factor is auditioning near them. Max encourages Chenice to audition having heard her sing, along with Barlow egging her on in hope that this would give her a great future, but while encouraging Max causes a electric shortage in the van, and sadly the Grandfather doesn’t hold his breath any longer.

Upset about her grandfather, Chenice chooses not to audition, but while coming back from the crematorium with her Grandfathers ashes she walks passed the queuing hopefuls for the show including Max. both discoverer a loose X factor number, and this then causes Max to push Chenice to go for it, and also share her sad story so the judges will sympathise with her.  Chenice goes in, being watched by Simon, Jordy and Louis, but caves and ruins her audition with the annoyance of a fly swallowing. The dream is quickly over.

Back at the Caravan Chenice and Barlow discover that their home is to be demolished, not knowing what to do, and where to go Chenice and Barlow have hit rock bottom. Max appears with great news, he had showed the judges the video he recorded of Chenice singing, and they loved her, she is now through to the shows, and through with her new man Max.

The Second act follows the couple going through to the live finals, and in doing so comes with all the acts that the judges especially Simon put on to cause the ratings to sore, such as the outrageous outfits, and appearances, the biggest news scandels (including the splitting up of Max and Chenice), and the choosing of their songs that will suit the viewers rather than what the performers want to do. It is true to what we all thing the X Factor does for their ratings, behind them all is Simon.

Chenice and Max find this out, which cause them to stand up for themselves and do what they want. Max sings his own written song, which was dedicated to Chenice, and Chenice being herself and being a star on stage. She was a sure win! but the ending turns very weird (very Harry Hill). The show discovers that Chenice didn’t actually sign up to audition, and that she took someone else’s number, and with that the true winner was the owner of that number, which turns about to be the Hunchback…then you discover he is the son of Brenda another finalist, and then Simon lets out that he is actually an Alien from out of space and is going to return home to his planet as he had achieved his goal to become powerful on Earth…yep told you it was very weird.

But all in all the show was full of comic, and notable mocking characters that everyone knew and loved. Harry Hill did an amazing job!

The casting was very good, and each actor, and actresses suited each roll, again as it was previews it would have been rare that we were to have seen any understudies unless something terrible happened, or a bad illness, so on the night we had the full fledged cast:

 Simon-Nigel Harman

Chenice-Cynthia Erivo

Max-Alan Morrissey

Liam O’Deary -Simon Bailey

Hunchback-Charlie Baker

Gerrard Smalls-Billy Carter

Jordy-Victoria Elliot

Louis – Ashley Knight

Barlow- Simon Lipkin

Brenda – Katy Secombe

Grandpa-Joe Speare

 N10345554_10152051932265448_5617112969855027578_now Nigel Harman is no stranger, known quite a lot from playing Dennis on Eastenders, but actualy Nigel is much more of theatre performer than you would think, and I was very surprised! Nigel can Sing, Act, and boy can he Dance! His take on Simon Cowell was great, and I know he sat down often with Simon so he could get his characteristics spot on, but also knew how far he could go with the mocking, which led  the audience to be in stiches, especially the part where he forgot baby Eric in the car on his arrival to the auditions! I was very happy to have finally seen Nigel perform, and I wished him good luck in the Shrek tour currently on the way, to which he is directing!10378941_10152051932390448_2933302224518167117_n

The leading Couple Chenice and Max were played by Alan, and Cynthia.  Having seen Cynthia sing earlier that month in the charity concert I was excited to see what she would pull out of the bag this time especially with her solo “I Can’t Sing” you can not say anything negative about her voice! Alan portrayed the happy go lucky lad Max of the show, making him loveable and the girls in the audience awing at his sweet innocent character. He was very friendly at the stage door also, sadly Cynthia took her time leaving so I didn’t get a photo.

Simon Lipkin, returned to the stage and with him was Barlow the dog puppet, it was the reason I wanted to see the show, and it was great to see him once again with a hand up a puppet! and this time was a tad more fancy with his knee wheel pads, allowing him to make Barlow be as realistic as he could, but even in this show the puppeteer can be cheeky making a comment that he was trying to be

10408011_10152051932240448_8545747402158396820_nwarhorse! Simon was the comic of the night, and the narrator, following the story throughout and ensuring nothing went past the audience, but also the character who broke the 4th wall and spoke the audience saying it as it is, and very Harry Hill. I was just a little upset that Barlow didn’t get a full blown solo, and only short snippets in a a reprise and the final number, Simon does have a great voice so it was sad to not see it used to its full potetial. I was excited to see Simon at the stage door but more excitingly I got to meet his puppy Dexter (wearing an amazing black hoodie!), and I got a little cuddle from both!

Victoria Elliot was a flying meet and greet, only receiving a autograph, she played Judge Jordy (Cheryl Cole) and being a Geordie herself the accent was spot on obviously, and she really was funny!

10296577_10152051932435448_6444071436434996297_nThe Last three characters I got to meet at the stage door were Simon Bailey, Charlie Baker, and Billy Carter. Charlie first said that if I knew what character he played he would then give me an autograph and photo, of course I knew that he played the rapping hunchback, and he was true to his word. Simon Bailey playing the Dermot O Leary10320394_10152051932260448_1615095213110933726_n role of Liam O Leary also joining in for the photo, and he was very spot on with his impersonation of Dermot, he must have truly watched how Dermot presents, and really did enjoy all the hugs! Billy Carter played Gerrard, who was Simon Cowells right hand camp loving assistant, he was brilliant and his performance in ‘Uncontrolled Love’ was very entertaining!

The performers were all brilliant, and their energy shone through and you could tell that they were all enjoying being part of the show, and something new! which really did help the audience get into it, and also experience something new in the making.

However with greatness can come disappointment, and the warning signs were already showing after 2 weeks of seeing the show, I Can’t Sing  was already being shown on the offer websites, with tickets at cheap prices, and then a week after it was announced that the show was closing. After 6 weeks and three days since opening night it closed on May 10th 2014. There were many reasons for this such early closing that many were throwing about, that past x factor contenders were threatening to sue being one, but I think it was the theatre, as I said the palladium theatre is one of the biggest in London theatres as to fill the seats each night to pay for the show has be to be very high to keep their place, I think if they chose somewhere like the Shaftesbury theatre, or Garrick they may have been in with a better chance to fill the seats each night maybe. But who really knows except for those in the show, and working the show. All I can say is it was a disappointment to see it go so quick, it was such and underestimated show, that brought brand new life the musical theatre with brand new songs written for that show (there was only 3 songs recorded on SoundCloud if you want to listen), and a whole new take on something for others to view. There has been no other updates with this show, with no sign of a tour of reprisal but all I can say is I was very happy to have seen it and have the programme part of my collection! If you didn’t see it, yes you did miss out!

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